This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
