Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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