"it" just moved
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
