I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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