the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
