can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
