the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
