she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
