Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
