i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize