apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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