When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
