Define "chronic" masturbator.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
