She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize