It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize