Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
