I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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