there's paper in my vomit.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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