oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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