The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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