her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
