Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
