I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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