The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
