She's JV to your varsity
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
