I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
