We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
