...so i touched it.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
