I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
