the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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