I like my sex mixed with concussions.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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