Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
