Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
