Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
