I love watching others lives come down to our level.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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