i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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