I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
