I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
