Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
