no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
