1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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