I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
