yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
