I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
