I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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