just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
