ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
