Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
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