And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
