You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize