Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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