I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
