the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
