As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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