drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
