let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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