Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You are the jesus of drinking
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
