There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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