Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
