It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
