well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize