Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
