is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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