Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
